A1
Briefly
B1 A
union of a male and a female in body, soul, and marriage.
B2 A
union until death in this life.
B3 A
union that can be broken.
B4 A
union that must be broken.
C1 Abuse
C2
Desertion
A2
Beginning of marriage
B1 Adam
C1
Created in the image of God
C2 Did
NOT have all wisdom, gifts, abilities, insights, etc. necessary for
taking care of the Garden of Eden.
C3 All
creation was judged by God, the creator, to be good. The only “not
good” was Adam being alone.
C4 God
wanted Adam to understand that he, Adam, could not be a full success
in life without help. Adam needed God’s grace and wisdom and also
another human.
C5
Genesis 1:31 NKJV Then
God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. So
the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
C6
Genesis 2:18 GNB Then
the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to live alone. I
will make a suitable companion to help him."
C7 The
world was cursed because of Adam’s sin, not Eve’s sin.
D1
Genesis 3:17-19
E1
Version 1: Genesis 3:17-19 NKJV Then
to Adam He said, "Because you have heeded the voice of your
wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying,
'You shall not eat of it': "Cursed is the ground for your sake;
In toil you shall eat of it All the days of your life. 18 Both
thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, And you shall eat
the herb of the field. 19 In the sweat of your face you shall eat
bread Till you return to the ground, For out of it you were taken;
For dust you are, And to dust you shall return."
E2
Version 2: Genesis 3:17-19 GW Then
he said to the man, "You listened to your wife and ate fruit
from the tree, although I commanded you, 'You must never eat its
fruit.' The ground is cursed because of you. Through hard work you
will eat food that comes from it every day of your life. 18 The
ground will grow thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat wild
plants. 19 By the sweat of your brow, you will produce food to eat
until you return to the ground, because you were taken from it. You
are dust, and you will return to dust."
D2 1
Corinthians 15:21-22 NKJV For
since by man [came] death, by Man also [came] the resurrection of the
dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made
alive.
D3
Romans 5:14 HCSB Nevertheless,
death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who did not sin in
the likeness of Adam’s transgression. He is a prototype of the
Coming One.
D4
Romans 5:12-14 LEB Because
of this, just as sin entered into the world through one man, and
death through sin, so also death spread to all people because all
sinned. For until the law, sin was in the world, but sin is not
charged to one’s account [when there] is no law. But death reigned
from Adam until Moses even over those who did not sin in the likeness
of the transgression of Adam, who is a type of the one who is to
come.
B2 Eve
C1
Because Adam did NOT have all the wisdom, gifts, abilities, insights,
etc. that was necessary, God make a helper, a partner, for him.
D1 The
word helper is usually used of God, thus it does NOT mean a servant,
slave, or lesser. On
the Word Help
E1 The
word help or help meet in Genesis 2:18 is Strong's H5828 - `ezer
E2 It
means aid, help; often concr. a helper, aider, Ps. 33:20; 70:6;
115:9; a female helper, Gen. 2:18,20. (Gesenius’ Hebrew-Caldee
Lexicon).
E3 The
Hebrew word is used 21 times in 15 verses. Of these, ezer is used of
God being the helper in 11 verses.
E4 God
is a helper and is not a slave or servant, so is true of Eve.
E5 Eve
had gifts, abilities, and insights from God that Adam did NOT have
and Adam needed to do God’s work.
D2
Without Eve, Adam was either unable to or only could do an imperfect
work for God.
C2 Eve
was NOT given to
D1 Make
Adam happy. Eve was created because Adam could not carry out his
responsibilities completely.
D2 Have
sex.
D3 Be a
slave, that is, obey everything without question.
D4 Cater
to carry out every whim and desire of Adam.
D5 Have
someone to instruct her in every little area of life, that is, Adam
had to have someone so he could exercise the strong hand of
leadership of guidance, because she is too stupid without him.
C3
Situations would arise that needed a solution. Adam did NOT have all
the necessary wisdom to make a full decision. So, God created Eve to
give another view and insight into a situation. This is the reason
God state, “It is not good for the man to live alone.”
C4 She
may have been the first human sinner, but she was deceived.
D1 Women
are not more easily deceived than men.
D2 Women
are not cursed because Eve sinned. Sin had consequences—death and
corruption. Part of that corruption was to suffer pain in childbirth.
Death was spiritual, of the soul, and physical. There are 2
deaths—physical and eternal.
E1
Physical death: Romans 5:12 NRSV Therefore, just as sin came into the
world through one man,
and death came through sin, and so death spread to all because all
have sinned—
E2
Eternal death: Revelation 21:8 WEL “But
the cowardly, unbelieving, loathsome, murderers, fornicators,
sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars will have their share in the lake
which burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death."
E3
Spiritual death is death of fellowship with God. Humans NEED
fellowship with God. Sin separates humans from God and fellowship
with Him. Isaiah 59:1-2 NKJV Behold,
the LORD's hand is not shortened, That it cannot save; Nor His ear
heavy, That it cannot hear. 2 But your iniquities have separated you
from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, So that
He will not hear.
D3 Eve
did not attempt to boss Adam.
E1 A
common interpretation of Genesis 3:16 is that Eve wanted to control
Adam. Because of this God cursed Eve. Her problem according to these
teachers is that desire
means desire to control. She wants to control, because she is a
sinner. (Compare)
E2 This
is wrong.
F1 The
word desire
is the Hebrew word
תְּשׁוּקָה
tshuwqah.
It means longing. It is used in 3 verses: Genesis 3:16, Genesis 4:7,
and Song of Solomon 7:10.
F2
Because the word is used with Cain (Genesis 4:7), some teachers
associate the word with control. (Compare)
F3
The word has nothing to do with control. It is desire and longing.
G1
Song of Solomon 7:10 is physical longing of husband and wife.
G2
Genesis 4:7 is sin’s desire and longing for Cain to murder Abel.
G3
Genesis 3:16 is God reminding Eve to still desire and long for her
husband. It is not stated, but my opinion is that Eve was very angry
when she understood what Adam had done and wanted nothing to do with
him. She hated him. God wanted to remind Eve that it is God’s will
for Eve to still desire and long for Adam.
E3
The word rule
is misunderstood.
F1
There are basically 2 types of leadership—Hunter (domineering and
controlling) and Shepherd (delegating and caring). See Leadership
Styles
F2
The archetype of Hunter leadership is Nimrod, but the archetype of
Shepherd is the Lord Jesus.
F3
It is ruling by love, not control.
C5 Had
different gifts, abilities, and insights than Adam.
C6 Was a
partner, not a servant, of Adam.
B3 To be
one
C1 In
fellowship with each other and God.
C2 To
collaborate in solving problems.
C3 To
unite in body, soul, and spirit.
D1
Bonding in sex. There are emotional and hormonal bonding qualities.
See
this for a Christian blogger on this topic.
D2
Bonding in soul. This would include emotions, strength, comfort,
encouragement, advice, etc. Remember, it is not only man who has all
the gifts, abilities, insights, a woman is given to offer what is
missing. Any decision a family faces is better off with both sets of
gifts and abilities being exercised.
D3
Bonding in spirit. This is in worshiping God together. A woman does
NOT need a man to serve as priest. She is also a priest and can
approach God. Both men and women believers: 1 Peter 2:4-5 WEL You
are coming to the Lord [as to] a living stone, truly rejected by
people but chosen by God [and] precious. 5 You also, as living
stones, are built into a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer
spiritual sacrifices that are acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
C4
Matthew 19:6 MKJV Therefore
they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined
together, let not man separate.
C5 To be
one, husband and wife need time together, conversing together, and
worshiping together.
A3
Love
B1 God’s
love is agape love. It is the love of choice, not necessarily
emotional or passionate. John 3:16 NKJV For
God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that
whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
B2 It is
the love of choosing to love. It is the love of choice.
C1 Not
much emotional or passionate love when loving enemies, yet we are
required to do so. Matthew 5:44 WPNT But
I say to you: love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good
to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and
persecute you,
C2
Humans do not naturally love evil. When they do, it is a choice: John
3:19 WPNT “Now
this is the [basis for] the condemning, that the Light has come into
the world, but the people loved the darkness rather than the light
because their deeds were malignant.
C3 A
choice: 1 John 2:15 WPNT Do
not love the world, neither the things in the world; if anyone loves
the world, the Father’s love isn’t in him.
C4 No
one chooses to die in persecution, but we can choose to love God
first: Revelation 12:11 EMTV And
they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their
testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.
B3 The
actions of love
C1 Are
seen in thoughts, desires, words, and deeds: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
WEL 4
Love is very patient and kind; love is not envious; love doesn't brag
about itself, is not haughty, 5 Doesn't behave improperly, is not
self-seeking; love isn't easily aggravated, doesn’t keep a list of
wrongs, 6 Doesn't rejoice in injustice, but rejoices with the truth,
7 Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures
all things. 8 Love never ends,
C2 These
are then seen in obedience to God’s rules for Christians written in
the New Testament. John 14:15 GNB "If
you love me, you will obey my commandments.
C3 So we
are to love our spouse, our family, and our Christian brothers and
sisters.
D1
Ephesians 5:25 GNB Husbands,
love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for
it.
D2 Titus
2:4 WEB that
they may train the young wives to love their husbands, to love their
children.
E1 Love
husbands is the Greek word: φίλανδρος philandros
E2 Love
children is the Greek word: φιλότεκνος philoteknos
D3 1
Thessalonians 4:9-10 WEB But
concerning brotherly love, you have no need that one write to you.
For you yourselves are taught by God to love one another, 10 for
indeed you do it toward all the brothers who are in all Macedonia.
But we exhort you, brothers, that you abound more and more.
E1
Brotherly love is the Greek word: φιλαδελφία philadelphia
E2 The
second word love is the Greek word: ἀγαπάω agapaō
C4
Therefore, any abuse, be it verbal, sexual, spiritual, financial,
physical, etc., is NOT love.
C5 Abuse
is ALWAYS wrong. If you are abused, for any reason,
D2
Divorce
D3 Seek
professional counsel for emotional support. Yes, you do need it.
D4 Tell
your pastor last, because most pastors will revictimize you or abuse
you spiritually. Avoid pastors who teach women need the strong hand
of leadership and such.
B4
Making decisions based on love
C1
Scenario:
D1
Problems and other decisions are discussed. I realize that sometimes
the other is not available or the timing is immediate. In those
situations, a decision will be made unilaterally, and not berated by
the other spouse.
D2 The
decision is lovingly discussed. There are no raised voices. This is
not a contest of wills but loving discussion looking at all the
options. The husband has some gifts and will offer his perspective.
Since the husband does not have all the gifts, he must look to his
wife for her input based on her gifts and abilities.
D3 They
discuss and discuss even more. If a mutual decision is reached, then
it is followed.
D4 If it
is not reached, then seek godly counsel.
D5 If
there is still no agreement, then, in my opinion, the wife defers to
the husband. BUT, if that decision proves to not solve the issue,
then the husband defers to the wife.
B5
Investment
C1
Definition There are a number of definitions, but we will offer two.
D1 6. a
devoting, using, or giving of time, talent, emotional energy, etc.,
as to achieve something.
D2 8.
the act of investing with a quality, attribute, etc.
D3
Source:
Random House Kernerman Webster's College Dictionary, © 2010 K
Dictionaries Ltd. Copyright 2005, 1997, 1991 by Random House, Inc.
All rights reserved.
C2 We
invest in our spouse. So, what do we invest?
D1 Time
D2 A
listening ear
D3
Patience
D4
Kindness
D5
Helpfulness
D6
Prayer
D7
Family devotions
D8 All
the qualities of love (2 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
A4
Other notes
B1 God
created only two genders—male and female. They are biologically
provable. It is not an attitude or choice. It is reality.
B2
Compatibility is a very wise choice.
C1
Spiritual (Some examples, not inclusive)
D1 Same
belief and faith in Jesus Christ
D2 Same
Gospel
D3 As
close as possible, same doctrine
D4 Same
commitment
D5 Same
devotion
D6 Same
daily fellowship, prayer, and Bible study
C2 Soul
(emotions, personality, likes, dislikes, etc.) (Some examples, not
inclusive)
D1
Introvert vs Extrovert
D2 City
or rural
D3 Clean
or messy
C3
Physical (Some examples, not inclusive)
D1
Similar tastes in clothes, food, etc.
D2 Enjoy
each other’s looks
D3
Outdoors or indoors
D4
Exercise
D5 Diet
A5
Links (I don’t necessary endorse the web site or blog).
B2
https://kimberleykayblog.wordpress.com/2017/09/18/have-we-christians-made-marriage-too-complicated/
B3
If you have these character traits, repent and believe the Gospel.
Copyright © 2018 by Len Gane
All rights reserved.
