Red Flags in relationships

Dating someone?

You do need to be careful.

Consider these red flags from http://www.loserrx.com/flags/

Relationship Red Flags

• Were you the ‘love of their life’, their ‘soulmate’ or new best friend within weeks?
• Were they initially charming, saying all the right things, “mirroring” your hopes, desires, and feelings?
• Are they jealous and possessive?
• Do they have few friends or long-term relationships? Multiple failed relationships?
• Do they badmouth their ex or other friends?
• Do they tell lies, big and small?
• Does the relationship veer from hot to cold? Do they “Jekyll and Hyde”?
• Do they have an unstable work history, frequent unemployment or job changes?
• Do you find yourself “covering” for them, making them appear better than they really are?
• Do they have constant financial problems?
• Are people mad at them because they don’t honor their debts?
• Do they have a lack of realistic goals? A history of living off others?
• Are they comfortable taking money from you? Have they ever used your credit cards without your knowledge?
• Do they make you feel guilty about your outside interests, time spent with friends or family?
• Do they make you feel you’re not good enough, that you’re lucky to have them?
• Have they ever humiliated you in public?
• Do they withdraw love, friendship or approval as punishment?
• Do they have a bad temper triggered by something seemingly insignificant? Do you often not even know what set them off?
• Do they always shift blame onto you? Is whatever’s wrong always your fault?
• After raging, do they act like nothing at all has happened?
• Do you ever feel “smothered” by them?
• Do they ever threaten, hit or shove you, punch walls, break your things or call you names?
• Are they always on the “outs” with someone?
• Do they pressure you to quit or change jobs/friends/relationships/homes?
• Do they have problems with authority figures?
• Stalked anyone for any reason whatsoever? Have they had Restraining Orders?
• Is your self-esteem eroding?
• Do you sometimes feel you’re the crazy one?
• Is the relationship affecting other aspects of your life?
• Do you have a gut, “sick” sense that things just aren’t right?
• Do you sometimes wish it would just all “go away”?

First Love and the Christian Life

"' And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the first commandment. " (Mark 12:30, EMTV)
"Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. " (Revelation 2:4, EMTV)

What is "first love?"

Let's see some examples to explain.

If food is my first love, guess what I'll probably be doing?
If money is my first love, you'll know what I'm doing?
If anger is my first love, then society will suffer from my actions.
If sex is my first love, porn will be paramount importance.
If heroin is my first love, I probably won't live long.
If politics and power are my first love, the country and the world will suffer.
If Jesus Christ is my first love, then I will want to obey. I will want to obey, just because I love Him
  and want to please Him. ""If you love Me, keep My commandments. " (John 14:15, EMTV) and "By this we know that we love the children of God, whenever we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome, " (1 John 5:2-3, EMTV)

Our actions will determine what our first love is.

If I never or rarely go to church, what does that tell us?
If I never tell my wife that I love her, what does that tell her?
If I never help my wife, what does that say?
If I rarely or never read my Bible, what is wrong?
If I claim to be a Christian but am racist, or fighting, cursing, blaspheming, stealing, ect., can I really be a Christian?

Are their standards of right and wrong

This is a really good article on absolutes vs relativism especially as it relates to the Christian. Consider this article on Barna. Christianity is an absolute religion. There are standards of right and wrong.There are rules. God does not change.

ABSOLUTES VS. RELATIVISM

The art of humanism in today's world

Each person and culture has developed their own definition of what right or wrong is. This theory is morally unacceptable because it implies an act can be right for someone even if it is cruel, hateful or harmful. Culture or ones personal preference does not dictate what is right or wrong. Neither can religions, for each area may have its own religion that came down to them from previous generations. There must be a greater standard, one that is more correct and more sure for us to live by. Otherwise we are left to invent our own opinions that will change in time because of our culture.

The definition of Relative truth- Truth...