You do need to be careful.
Consider these red flags from http://www.loserrx.com/flags/
Relationship Red Flags
- Were you the ‘love of their life’, their ‘soulmate’ or new best friend within weeks?
- Were they initially charming, saying all the right things, “mirroring” your hopes, desires, and feelings?
- Are they jealous and possessive?
- Do they have few friends or long-term relationships? Multiple failed relationships?
- Do they badmouth their ex or other friends?
- Do they tell lies, big and small?
- Does the relationship veer from hot to cold? Do they “Jekyll and Hyde”?
- Do they have an unstable work history, frequent unemployment or job changes?
- Do you find yourself “covering” for them, making them appear better than they really are?
- Do they have constant financial problems?
- Are people mad at them because they don’t honor their debts?
- Do they have a lack of realistic goals? A history of living off others?
- Are they comfortable taking money from you? Have they ever used your credit cards without your knowledge?
- Do they make you feel guilty about your outside interests, time spent with friends or family?
- Do they make you feel you’re not good enough, that you’re lucky to have them?
- Have they ever humiliated you in public?
- Do they withdraw love, friendship or approval as punishment?
- Do they have a bad temper triggered by something seemingly insignificant? Do you often not even know what set them off?
- Do they always shift blame onto you? Is whatever’s wrong always your fault?
- After raging, do they act like nothing at all has happened?
- Do you ever feel “smothered” by them?
- Do they ever threaten, hit or shove you, punch walls, break your things or call you names?
- Are they always on the “outs” with someone?
- Do they pressure you to quit or change jobs/friends/relationships/homes?
- Do they have problems with authority figures?
- Stalked anyone for any reason whatsoever? Have they had Restraining Orders?
- Is your self-esteem eroding?
- Do you sometimes feel you’re the crazy one?
- Is the relationship affecting other aspects of your life?
- Do you have a gut, “sick” sense that things just aren’t right?
- Do you sometimes wish it would just all “go away”?
