A Few Thoughts About the Beauty in Marriage

Marriage

B1 Body

C1 Container. This is an illustration for the sexual need in humans. The idea of a comes from of idea of emotional needs, etc.

E1 Keeping the Love Tank Full

E2 This idea was popularized by Dr. Ross Campbell. Here is one review (PDF). I believe the book is still for sale.

D1 A man has a sexual container to enjoy his wife’s beauty. This container needs to be filled up. It cannot be filled in only a minute.

D2 A woman has a sexual container to have her husband enjoy her beauty. This container needs to be filled up. This too, cannot be filled in only a minute.

D3 This enjoyment has to be done by all the senses: eyes (seeing), taste (kissing), feel (touching), smell (perfume, etc.), hearing (communication).

D4 Some verses to give you the idea:

E1 Eyes

F1 Song of Solomon 1:10 GNB Your hair is beautiful upon your cheeks and falls along your neck like jewels.

F2 Song of Solomon 4:5 GNB Your breasts are like gazelles, twin deer feeding among lilies.

E2 Taste

F1 Song of Solomon 1:2 GNB Your lips cover me with kisses; your love is better than wine.

F2 Song of Solomon 4:11 GNB The taste of honey is on your lips, my darling; your tongue is milk and honey for me. Your clothing has all the fragrance of Lebanon.

E3 Feel

F1 Song of Solomon 1:13 GNB My lover has the scent of myrrh as he lies upon my breasts.

F2 Song of Solomon 2:6 GNB His left hand is under my head, and his right hand caresses me.

E4 Smell

F1 Song of Solomon 1:3 GNB There is a fragrance about you; the sound of your name recalls it. No woman could keep from loving you.

F2 Song of Solomon 1:12 GNB My king was lying on his couch, and my perfume filled the air with fragrance.

E5 Hearing

F1 Song of Solomon 1:15-16 GNB How beautiful you are, my love; how your eyes shine with love! 16 How handsome you are, my dearest; how you delight me! The green grass will be our bed.

F2 Note hearing, seeing, and hearing: Song of Solomon 2:14 GNB You are like a dove that hides in the crevice of a rock. Let me see your lovely face and hear your enchanting voice.

F3 Song of Solomon 4:1 GNB How beautiful you are, my love! How your eyes shine with love behind your veil. Your hair dances like a flock of goats bounding down the hills of Gilead.

C2 Eventually we all get into middle age and beyond, and our bodies don’t look like they did when we were in our 20s. Pregnancy changes this also (a good article is A Mom’s Body Change After Pregnancy) [When I find the link, I’ll update the article.]

D1 Your wife/your husband still needs these things. You still need to enjoy her beauty and let her know this.

D2 It is evil to look around at others. It happens, but it is evil.

E1 Exodus 20:14 NLT You must not commit adultery.

E2 Think of the 10 Commandments as a set, each of the 10 Commandments as a subset, and each subset having every possible sin. In our quote above, this subset of adultery includes every sexual sin possible. Thus porn, etc. is wrong, sin, evil, condemned by God, etc.

E3 Hebrews 13:4 NLT Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

D3 Both husband and wife are to enjoy sex. 1 Corinthians 7:3 NLT The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs.

E1 Sex is not just the release. It is both of them enjoying physical pleasure. Both need time to enjoy this pleasure. It is not something that happens in a couple of minutes.

E2 The wife can refuse, and the husband must submit. However, it should not be often. See the verses below:

F1 She can refuse: 1 Corinthians 7:4 NIV The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

F2 There is a time limit: 1 Corinthians 7:5 NLT Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

B2 Soul

C1 This is the beauty of each other’s character, personality, gifts, abilities, likes, and dislikes, etc. It is what makes each of us unique.

C2 We are to enjoy each emotionally, intellectually, and daily living.

C3 The more compatible we are, the easier this is to do. [See note 3]

C4 Take time with each other to work together, chore together, laugh together, work on family situations together, plan together, think together, eat together, listen to each other, help each other, encourage each other, be kind to each other, be compassionate to each other, forgive each other, console each other, be aware of each other’s needs, frustrations, hard day at work, etc.

C5 Live love the way God has instructed us [See note 4]. These things should be between both of us: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a WEL Love is very patient and kind; love is not envious; love doesn’t brag about itself, is not haughty, 5 Doesn’t behave improperly, is not self-seeking; love isn’t easily aggravated, doesn’t keep a list of wrongs, 6 Doesn’t rejoice in injustice, but rejoices in the truth, 7 Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, calmly endures all things. 8 Love never ends,

C6 Wives do give good counsel. There is safety in a multitude of counselors: God first, Bible, spouse (yes the wife counsel is important, too), etc.

D1 Moses didn’t listen to his wife’s counsel, so God came to kill Moses: Exodus 4:24-26 NET Now on the way, at a place where they stopped for the night, the LORD met Moses and sought to kill him. 25 But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off the foreskin of her son and touched it to Moses' feet, and said, "Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me." 26 So the LORD let him alone. (At that time she said, "A bridegroom of blood," referring to the circumcision.)

D2 Pilate: Matthew 27:19 NET As he was sitting on the judgment seat, his wife sent a message to him: "Have nothing to do with that innocent man; I have suffered greatly as a result of a dream about him today."

B3 Spirit

C1 For the Christian, this is a life of worship together, serving God together, and fellowship with God and His people together. We are to be seeing in our wife or in our husband the following beautiful things:

D1 Seeing the beauty of your spouse as you celebrate God, His worldview, His lifestyle, His attributes, His beliefs (doctrines), His Gospel, His care, and His people.

D2 Seeing the gifts of the Spirit in your spouse. Both wife and husband have gifts of the Spirit.

E1 Romans 12:6-8 NIV We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; 7 if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; 8 if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully. [See note 1 and 2 below]

E2 Also see 1 Peter 4:10-11, 1 Corinthians 12:4-11, Ephesians 4:11-16, James 1:17, etc.

C2 The following are rules for the whole church, but I am applying these today to our marriages. Husband and wife living this type life serving, God, each other, fellow believers, and everyone else:

D1 Romans 12:9-21 NIV Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

D2 Husband and wife are to living, thinking, applying, doing the above in private and publicly—firstly to your spouse, secondly to the rest of your immediate family, thirdly to the believers you fellowship with, fourthly to believers worldwide, and lastly to everyone else.

Unity

B1 It is required:

C1 Genesis 2:24 NLT This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

C2 If we are to have fellowship with God and fellow believers, then it is more so to have fellowship with our spouse: 1 John 1:3 NIV We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.

B2 This verse is a principle of doing something together, being yoked together, so partnerships, fellowship in church, business, marriage, etc. Husband and wife are to be yoked together:

C1 Everything in creation was pronounced good, except that Adam was left alone. Eve was then created for Adam to have fellowship and a thinking mate for counsel and consoling. Adam did not have all the gifts and ability to take care of the Garden; God made it so. Eve had the other gifts and ability needed to work together. They were yoked together.

C2 2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

C3 This was written to the congregation at Rome, but I believe it can be applied to marriage as well. You decide. Romans 15:5-7 NIV May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, 6 so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

[All emphasis is mine]

Note 1: Prophecy is not a gift in use today. Maybe you believe so, but I am not here to fight about this but the qualifications are 100% correct in the doctrine that one teaches, the advice that one offers, the wisdom, the rebukes, the warnings, even speaking future events. There is simply no one who could be qualified by the Apostles of Jesus Christ, since they are no longer living on earth. The so-called apostles of today have no proof that they meet God’s qualifications of Acts 1:21-22, 1 Corinthians 1:9 (Paul had witnesses), 2 Corinthians 12:12, Revelation 2:2. If there are no apostles to authenticate them. There is no way to know if they are prophets or not.

Note 2: I would agree with this: Are there prophets in the church today?

Note 3: Compatibility Sources but be aware not all have Biblical ideals

B1 Free Quiz with Marriage Compatibility Questions

B2 Marriage Compatibility 7 Critical Areas to Evaluate (Note this site evidently teaches courtship, so be aware).

B3 Pre-Marriage Awareness Questionnaire (PDF)

Note 4: The 5 Love Languages Quiz

A Few Thoughts About Worldviews

A worldview is defined as A worldview is the set of beliefs about fundamental aspects of Reality that ground and influence all one's perceiving, thinking, knowing, and doing. (Source).

A list of worldview includes: Buddhistic, Islamic, Jehovah's Witness, Christian Science, Narcissistic, Feminism, Postmodernism, Social justice, Atheism, Agnosticism, Pantheism, Panentheism, Spirit, Simulation, satanic, Secularism, Marxism, New Spirituality, and many others.

According to the Bible there are only two: flesh and spirit.

Flesh

B1 The foundation this worldview is the self. It is evil. Jeremiah 17:9 NLT The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?

B2 It is out of our hearts that evil comes. Matthew 15:19 NLT For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.

B3 Original sin is NOT that we are punished for Adams’ sin. That is error!

C1 Ezekiel 18:19-20 NLT "'What?' you ask. 'Doesn't the child pay for the parent's sins?' No! For if the child does what is just and right and keeps my decrees, that child will surely live. The person who sins is the one who will die. The child will not be punished for the parent's sins, and the parent will not be punished for the child's sins. Righteous people will be rewarded for their own righteous behavior, and wicked people will be punished for their own wickedness.

C2 Deuteronomy 24:16 NLT Parents must not be put to death for the sins of their children, nor children for the sins of their parents. Those deserving to die must be put to death for their own crimes.

B4 Original sin is Me First. It is my desires, thoughts, words, and deeds. Me, Me, Me. James 4:3 NLT And even when you ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.

B5 God is not pleased with the flesh worldview: Ephesians 2:3 NLT All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God's anger, just like everyone else.

B6 Flesh and Spirit contrasted: Romans 8:5-8 NRSV For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. (6) To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. (7) For this reason the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's law—indeed it cannot, (8) and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

B7 This is a worldview enslaved and addicted to sin:

C1 Galatians 3:22 NLT But the Scriptures declare that we are all prisoners of sin, so we receive God's promise of freedom only by believing in Jesus Christ.

C2 Titus 3:3 NLT Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other.

C3 1 Peter 4:3 NLT You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy--their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.

B8 What this worldview leads to (Some do more evil than others): Galatians 5:19-21 NLT When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

B9 This worldview has the desires of power, money, and sex.

B10 The 10 Commandments list the broad classifications of sins with many subsets of sins under each. (See Exodus 20).

Spirit

B1 Christians have been cleansed from, redeemed from, saved from:

C1 Ephesians 2:3 NLT All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God's anger, just like everyone else.

C2 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 NLT Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people--none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

B2 We are warned to abandon the flesh worldview: Galatians 5:16-18 NLT So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

B3 The actions and fruits of the life with the worldview of the Spirit. These words have to be defined as God defines them in Scripture, not popular culture: Galatians 5:22-24 NLT But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.

B4 There are ~1,000 rules in the New Testament for Christians to follow. Some examples:

C1 Romans 12.

C2 1 Thessalonians 5:12-27.

C3 James 4.

We have a choice to make. We can live by God’s worldview or the flesh. God’s grace is sufficient.

James 4:4-6 NLT You adulterers! Don't you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. What do you think the Scriptures mean when they say that the spirit God has placed within us is filled with envy? But he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires. As the Scriptures say, "God opposes the proud but favors the humble.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 NLT Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say.