The Family

Some problems with the family. Where's dad?

I realize that some of the statistics are outdated, but are the best I could find.

[U. S. D.H.H.S. Bureau of the Census]

* 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
* 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.

[Center for Disease Control]

* 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.

[Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14 p. 403-26]

* 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.

[National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]

* 70% of juveniles in state operated institutions come from fatherless homes

[U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept., 1988]

* 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home.

[Fulton County Georgia Jail Populations and Texas Dept. of Corrections, 1992]

* Nearly 2 of every 5 children in America do not live with their fathers.

[US News and World Report, February 27, 1995, p.39]

There are:

* 11,268,000 total custodial mothers
* 2,907,000 total custodial fathers

[Current Populations Reports, US Bureau of the Census, Series P-20, No. 458, 1991]

What does this mean? Children from fatherless homes are:

* 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide,
* 6.6 times to become teenaged mothers (if they are girls, of course),
* 24.3 times more likely to run away,
* 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders,
* 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions,
* 10.8 times more likely to commit rape,
* 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school,
* 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenager.

(The calculation of the relative risks shown in the preceding list is based on 27% of children being in the care of single mothers.)

and — compared to children who are in the care of two biological, married parents — children who are in the care of single mothers are:

* 33 times more likely to be seriously abused (so that they will require medical attention), and
* 73 times more likely to be killed.

["Marriage: The Safest Place for Women and Children", by Patrick F. Fagan and Kirk A. Johnson, Ph.D. Backgrounder #1535.]

The Report article recommends to parents that to be successful in,

Preserving childhood

* Stay married
* Keep stress levels down; do not overbook children's activities
* Prevent obesity
* Provide a high-fibre diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables
* Cut out fast food
* Keep your daughter active; get her interested in a sport or out playing with other kids
* Throw out the TV

The following is from the newsletter Common Sense & Domestic Violence, 1997 12 24
Children and Single Moms

Whether it is caused by violence or not, children living with single moms don't do well in our society. It used to be the exception. Now it is becoming the rule and progressively worse. Is that not child abuse too?

I gave a short reply after reading some of these statistics:

Families

A1 Definition
B1 Simple: A dad (male) and a mom (female) married, then having children.
B2 Created male and female: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)
B3 Created married: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

A2 Facts
B1 Children are a blessing
C1 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. (Psalms 128:3)
C2 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psalms 127:3)

A3 Some Things to do
B1 Teach Scriptures:
C1 "Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children's children-- (Deuteronomy 4:9)
C2 The living, the living, he thanks you, as I do this day; the father makes known to the children your faithfulness. (Isaiah 38:19)
B2 Worship God together--
The churches of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Prisca, together with the church in their house, send you hearty greetings in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 16:19)
B3 Live in unity--
A Song of Ascents. Of David. Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! (Psalms 133:1)
B4 Live in mutual forbearance
Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22)
B5 Rejoice together before God--
and spend the money for whatever you desire--oxen or sheep or wine or strong drink, whatever your appetite craves. And you shall eat there before the LORD your God and rejoice, you and your household. (Deuteronomy 14:26)

A4 From: "The Bible and Family"
B1 The family is ordained by God--
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
B2 The family is the best context in which to understand ones sexuality, and marriage is the only place where God permits sexual intimacy--
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth." (Genesis 1:27-28)
B3 God places people on the earth through family--
I will bless her, and moreover, I will give you a son by her. I will bless her, and she shall become nations; kings of peoples shall come from her." (Genesis 17:16)
B4 By God's design the family is the principal protector, provider, and nurturer--
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8)
B5 The family is the place of God's earliest presentation of the Word. In the home individuals are first made accountable and learn the meaning of justice, injustice, and grace--
C1 He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, (Psalms 78:5)
C2 "You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, (Deuteronomy 11:18-20)
B6 The family is the basic unit of worship--
God also said to Moses, "Say this to the people of Israel, 'The LORD, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, and thus I am to be remembered throughout all generations. (Exodus 3:15)
B7 The family is the primary place of socialization--
Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." (Genesis 2:18)
B8 The family provides for intergenerational evangelism. God first directed the sharing of his gospel through family--
"The Mighty One, God, the LORD! The Mighty One, God, the LORD! He knows; and let Israel itself know! If it was in rebellion or in breach of faith against the LORD, do not spare us today for building an altar to turn away from following the LORD. Or if we did so to offer burnt offerings or grain offerings or peace offerings on it, may the LORD himself take vengeance. No, but we did it from fear that in time to come your children might say to our children, 'What have you to do with the LORD, the God of Israel? (Joshua 22:22-24)
B9 The family is the best place to discover and to encourage the use of God's gifts--
I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, (2 Timothy 1:5-6)
B10 God established the parameters of family roles and blesses families as they live out those roles--
C1 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33)
C2 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), "that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land." Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4)
B11 The family is one of God's metaphors for his kingdom (Father, Son, heirs, sons and daughters, children, etc.)--
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. (1 John 3:1)
B12 The family is God's design for modeling commitment, love, and intimacy--
C1 By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised. Therefore from one man, and him as good as dead, were born descendants as many as the stars of heaven and as many as the innumerable grains of sand by the seashore. These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city. By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was in the act of offering up his only son, of whom it was said, "Through Isaac shall your offspring be named." He considered that God was able even to raise him from the dead, from which, figuratively speaking, he did receive him back. (Hebrews 11:11-19)
C2 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2)
C3 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." (Matthew 19:6)